OCT 7 2023 UPDATE: SAUNA OCTOPUS REVIEW

You probably don’t remember this, but the first time I went to Sauna Octopus here in Madrid was the first time I ever went to a gay sauna. However, rereading the article, it sounds completely naive and uninformed.

I was such an innocent baby. But now that I know better, it’s time to add more to it.

Sauna Octopus is the gay bear sauna in Madrid and I LOVE IT!

So I went back to figure out if anything had changed, and everything regarding the venue was still the same.

My old review walks you through some of the nuances of getting in, paying, and what the facilities are like as I walked through them the first time. So I will keep that here for you to read below, and then we can get into some of the new things I discovered and my current point of view.

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Old Review Originally posted Sept 13, 2018

You heard it right. This is my first time at a gay sauna. I decided to try it out in Madrid. The best part is they have a pool and showers. Although it’s not terribly hot here I feel sweaty all the time. At least I can shower at Sauna Octopus and feel better about my day afterward.

I read the Google reviews before coming here and I’m convinced that people who write Google reviews are those who like to complain about every little goddamn thing. There’s one review that mentioned the clerk was too busy to pay attention to him and was so rude.

Other reviews are about how dirty it is. It’s a horrid place. They’ll NEVER go back there again. Yada, yada, yada…

Sauna Octopus is about five blocks from my hostel. It’s a 10-minute walk. I’m nervous because I’ve never been to one of these before. Mostly, I’m nervous because of all the bad reviews.

Tip: STAY AWAY FROM GOOGLE REVIEWS. They will scare you.

I get here. It’s a door so small you’ll miss it if you’re not looking for it. You ring the doorbell. They buzz you in. The clerk is busy on his phone.

I walk up to the front desk and say “For one please” in Spanish. He looks up and says “Hi buddy, pay at the machine to your left and bring me your ticket.”

I pay 16 Euros at the machine. I get a voucher. Upon presenting said voucher to the front desk the clerk asks my shoe size and gives me shower sandals and two towels. He gives me a condom and locker 65 for my belongings. The condom shocked me but I suppose boys will be boys.

Mind you, I had no idea what to expect so I brought my own sandals. I brought my speedos and toiletries an extra shirt just in case. It was too much bulk.

Upon Entering Sauna Octopus

The only weird thing is I thought they would show me around. I mean, I’ve been to regular spas, and they tell you where things are… All the clerk said was ‘the door is to your right, enjoy.’

Upon entering, you immediately land in the locker room. Seems normal. I spazz out and can’t open my locker. Keys!?!?! They’re the stuff of nightmares… I just can’t make them work.

I undress… fully nude and wrap a towel around my waist. I need a shower. I’m gross. I’ve walked all day, and I was dripping in sweat.

At this point, I close my locker and look for the showers.

Sauna Octopus has two floors. The first floor is where you enter. I look for a shower but only find toilets. As I walk, there are rows and rows of massage rooms. It’s impressive. I didn’t realize massage was a thing here. I’m impressed.

At the end of the massage parlor, you get to a lounge area. There’s a bar here. Interesting, I thought. You can literally order cocktails. Still no shower.

I walk back to the locker room and pass by a handsome muscle bear who smiles at me. He’s sitting at the top of the stairs. Perhaps he’s security? Although he’s in a towel. I’m confused. I guess the staff can also use the facilities… I don’t know.

Upon landing at the bottom of the stairs, I see the beautiful glowing pool. It’s pretty cool. The colors are luminescent and change as time goes on. It’s a great effect. I would say the pool is about 10 meters long.

Where are the showers? I guess i’ll dunk in the pool. As soon as I walk in the pool, I see the showers behind me. Locker room etiquette means no showering in a towel. I take it off. The wall is glass, which means everyone will see me shower.

I’ve been a swimmer all my life, this is normal. It’s just a different setting. Shower done!

The Facilities

Everything you’ll use is downstairs near the pool area. The pool is located at the far end of the space. Directly in front of it is a dry sauna. It’s tiny but it holds about 10 people or so.

The showers are in front of the dry sauna. If you go past the showers, you’ll enter an enormous steam room. This place can fit at least 30 people. It’s big and so dark you can’t see a thing.

As you head to the back, you’ll notice a few more massage tables and restrooms.

As you swerve through the hallway, you’ll hit a pitch-black room with seats to relax in. It’s a complete removal of everyday life.

That’s the gist of it.

Exploring Sauna Octopus

I felt better after showering. I jumped back into the pool. Yes, I’m nude, but there are only like 3 other people in the entire place at this point. If there’s more, I probably didn’t see them. It’s so dark inside the other places.

The pool is the brightest area. I stayed here for a bit until the handsome “security guy” decided to jump in the pool as well.

He came up to me and sparked a conversation. He spoke very little Spanish and very little English. However, it turns out he’s Brazilian which means he speaks Portuguese. I speak Portuguese. It worked out.

More people began to arrive. The place is by no sense of the word busy, but there are plenty of people now. However, I like the chill atmosphere. Everyone is here to relax.

I use the dry sauna for a bit. There are several guys in towels using it as well.

I use the gigantic steam room. It’s so dark in here that my eyes need to adjust. The weird thing about this room is it has a section behind the seats that’s almost hidden. I almost missed it.

I walked behind the seating area and it spans the entire perimeter of the steam room. Although, I could have sworn I saw a couple of people just standing there against the wall. What are they doing back here when they could be sitting comfortably?

I should mention, like any place with water, everything is wet. Even the “dry” zones are a little wet. Someone on Google complained that this place is dirty. I suppose it can get dirty, but the staff was constantly cleaning.

For the ‘Birty Dirdies’ Out There…

I walk into the dry sauna. There’s a big window into the pool. At this point, more guys come in, and it gets full. I’m looking at the pool. It’s nice with the lights. A couple starts making out in the pool. It’s great to see gay men have an outlet like this. One guy starts to give the other acupressure therapy on his face. He’s using his hands in weird ways all over his face. The guys eyes are closed. Acupressure feels good if you know what you’re doing.

I turn around and sit. The entire room is now filled with guys pleasuring themselves. All the towels came off. Some guys are thin, some not so much. There are several bears here too. Some of these guys are handsome!

One guy gets on his knees and blows another. A couple more stand up and get close to the blower. It’s like watching a porn unfold. I get a little closer to watch. I might as well, I’m already here. He’s taking turns on all the men until, one by one, they start ejaculating all over the place. Woah!

I get out of the sauna and take a shower. I head to the more empty steam room. As I enter I hear moaning. Where’s it coming from? It must be behind the seating, in that hidden area.

I decide to walk around some more. I go to the back rooms, and a man comes up to me as I’m walking and tells me the pure sight of me is enough to get him HOT. Now I know where Mexican men get it from. It’s rooted in our culture. One by one, a few guys come up to me and tell me they want a piece of what I got. They’re very forward.

I walk into a back room. It’s pitch black. It takes my eyes a few minutes to adjust. Two guys are getting it on. Although I can’t see what’s going on, it sounds like he’s getting a pounding.

Once my eyes adjust, I see a couple of guys blowing a gigantic dick together. They’re taking turns and loving it like it was vanilla ice cream. I turn and everywhere I look is full on orgy.

I leave this back room and go back to the dry sauna. It’s empty now. A couple walks in after me and complains in Spanish. He’s talking about some guy who he’s not interested in. He’s a big bear type. He leaves the steam room, and the guy apologizes and says, “Don’t mind him, everyone here is pretty chill, except him, he’s French.” I laugh and make small talk until I decide it’s time for me to go.

I take another cold shower and soap up. As I wrap my towel around my waist and head towards the stairs, a big bear guy corners me and pushes me against the wall. He grabs my hands and puts it on his dick. “Touch me,” He says. Without any time to react, another guy grabs me by my arm, yanks me away, and says “Hey lover come here,” and pulls me away.

We both walk upstairs and get ready to head out. As I put my clothes back on, he says, “You’re so hot you gotta be careful around here. The Spanish men will tear you up.”

I don’t normally feel attractive especially not in LA, where I live. So it was nice to have so many men flirting with me.

Now, let’s go back to the present day.

A few things I didn’t notice last time (OCT 7, 2023 UPDATE)

The facilities are exactly the same as the last time I was here. However, I didn’t notice the sling and porn rooms in the back. 

Perhaps they had this shut when I was there, but it’s new in my eyes.

And so if you walk through the porn room, there is a sling room. The sling room is very dark but has a faint red light. It’s also the coolest room in the entire place.

And there’s another thing I didn’t notice either: the wall that divides the sling room and the adjacent dark room has a row of glory holes. You can actually use them, people use them, and you can have fun.

The darkroom and the sling room are the two most used areas in the entire place.

If you park here, you can get it on for hours.

The men

One of the main differences that I don’t think I realized last time I was there, considering it was my first time and all, is that Octopus is one of those places that gets right to the point. There is no fuss. There is no looking around. It is whether or not you’re going to get it on or not. And if you’re not going to, then why are you here?

I’ve learned to really appreciate this type of atmosphere.

The men here are very forward, and I think there is an air of expectation that everybody will participate. 

It is free for all, and everybody plays with everybody. It doesn’t matter if you’re the best-looking guy in the house. If you are the worst-looking guy in the house, everybody is OK playing with everybody. There is no fuss. It’s just fucking.

And the more I ventured to this venue, the more I realized this place attracts an after-work crowd. Perhaps it’s married (gay and straight) men who stop here after work to unload before they go home to their spouse.

Many men wait in the darkroom, unload, and leave. You can get load after load if you want.

Sauna Octopus is a place that can fill a hungry bottom every day of the week from either end.

Some of the hot action

The darkroom is the best place in the entire venue. That’s because everybody just goes for it. One of the most amazing about the after-work crowd is that it makes this venue an early bird type of place, and since I’m an early bird, I can come here early and call it an early night. There’s no need to go around midnight and be there until four in the morning.

And so if you come here, be ready to take on a group and take on many loads for the team.

Let Me Break It Down For You:

Sauna Octopus is located at Calle Churruca, 10, 28004 Madrid

15 Euros

Best time to come is after 6 pm for the best crowd. But it peters out once people cum.

Everyone is very mellow and chill.

The men were a little forward when I arrived.

I hear Sundays are good to go. The first time I ever went was on Tuesday and Wednesday.

On my SEPT/OCT 2023 trip, I went back on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. But I will leave all the x-rated and downright naughty details in the upcoming gay Madrid travel guide.

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I absolutely loved the Sauna Octopus this time, even more this time around. I grew to appreciate that there is no fuss.

It is a bear sauna, so that’s something to remember. If you’re not into big guys, if you’re not into hairy guys, if you’re not into chubby guys, cubs, otters, or muscle bears, then this place is not for you.

If you’re into mostly looking around and not really playing, this place is not for you.

This place attracts bears, bear lovers, and people who are just DTF now, not 10 minutes from now.

I recommend sauna octopus 100% if you just need to get laid or swallow load after load.

Check out their website for more info: http://www.saunaoctopus.com/