South Africa is a big country. It’s also one of the most diverse places on the planet. My list of things to do in South Africa keeps growing. But some of these things are not for me. I don’t want to do the things others may want to do. I refuse to give in to the pressure of safari just because thats what you want to do. Let me do me, yo! In other words, here are a few Crazy things to do in South Africa I refuse to do… But you might want to…
1) Cage Dive with Great White Sharks
I’m sure you’ve watched all of those sharks movies where tourist meets their demise between 300 sharp teeth. Screaming underwater doesn’t sound pleasant. I also have a fear of drowning… and being eaten alive. Have I mentioned how much I hate the ocean. I suppose hate is a strong word. The word I’m looking for is scared. I’m so scared of the ocean everything inside the water freaks me out. Gigantic man-eating fish included. But if you want to cage dive with Great White Sharks, have at it. Just be responsible and make sure the company is legit.
I Rather Eat Caterpillars in Limpopo
As an alternative, I rather do the eating. Yes, even if it’s weird things like caterpillars. I’ve eaten other insects before but never a caterpillar. If you’re in the Limpopo area of South Africa, you can have dried, honey bbq, or even caterpillars in tomato sauce. Now, doesn’t that sound better than being eaten alive by killer monsters in the ocean? Um, yes!
2) Cage Diving with Crocodiles
Did we not just go over this? I know, crocodiles are not creatures of the ocean but they still swim in the water. They lurk for their prey. Their jaw pressure is incredible… and they will rip your throat out like nobody’s business. Who thinks this is a good idea? To make it worse, you’re doing it in a cage where you can’t escape. These creatures are so temperamental and aggressive, I don’t know why anyone would consider this. Maybe it’s an adrenaline junkie thing, which I am not. Make sure to keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times because this time, you definitely won’t come back with them.
I Rather Check Out the Bar Inside the Giant Baobab Tree in Limpopo
Another alternative to swimming with nature-made creatures from the black lagoon is heading to Limpopo to see the famous Baobab tree. Baobab trees have a special place in my heart. I’m as much a tree-hugger as any hippy I know. What makes this 6,000-year-old baobab tree even more interesting is the fact that it’s so wide and thick (did I just say wide and thick😜?) they’ve managed to put a bar on the inside. How freaking awesome is that? Not only will you survive and come back with each finger, but you might actually want to dance on the tables… Like the rockstar you are!
3) Kayak with Dolphins
Something else people do is Kayak with dolphins in Cape Town. Everyone is always like “Oh my god, dolphins are, like, so cute!” No, they are –motherfucking not cute! These things are wild animals that will kill you. Yes, kill you! They are not your friends. It is not Flipper the friendly dolphin or whatever. Haven’t you heard that dolphins have been accused of raping female humans? Hello!!!? You might as well purposefully lock yourself inside a bloodthirsty, male prison with horny, biker-esq men who are pent up and ready for the rapin’… Um… No thanks.
I do not like animals from the ocean. I mean the ocean is so crazy, even the plant life will kill you. Have you ever heard of Fire Coral? Yeah, it’s poisonous. It doesn’t move, but if you touch it, goodbye to you. Even seaweed can wrap itself around your human legs and drown you. Guppies? Don’t get me started on those. Have you ever heard of the penis fish? It’s a fish so small it lodges itself in your urethra. Yeah, no thanks ocean, I’ll stay dry.
Anyway, with all the crazy things to do in South Africa, this might actually be something you want to do and I don’t blame you. It’s just not for me. No judgment on my part.
I Rather See Penguins at Boulders Beach
I prefer seeing penguins in their natural habitat, like the beach. From all the crazy things to do in South Africa, this one is pretty freaking amazing! Although I was raised in a jungle with mostly concrete, where the only wildlife happens to be hookers strolling along the boulevard, there is no telling how my animal-free existence will react when seeing them. However, this is something I am willing to consider while I’m in South Africa.
4) Go On Safari
I’m not opposed to a safari, but perhaps not for this trip. I love big cities and all they have to offer. This time around I really rather check out the city of Cape Town and see whats in it. From the research I’ve gathered I rather find, authentic African food, native to Cape Town and South Africa. I rather explore its concrete jungle with side trips to nearby nature.
I Rather Take Day Trips to Other Natural Places
Although a Safari does sound amazing, this might take more planning. This means I might need a few more days to enjoy watching wild animals roam. From all the crazy things to do in South Africa, this one is exiting. I just didn’t plan for it… But hopefully, it’s something you might consider on your trip. In the meantime, I’ll check out other eco-tourist formations like Table Mountain and even Kirstenbosch National Botanical Gardens.
5) Bungee Jump Between the Orlando Towers in Soweto
Now, bungee jumping sounds pretty fun actually. However, I should mention that just being ‘me’ means I’ve almost died on a few trips. So as much as I would love to go bungee jumping, I’m not into extreme sports. I wish I was.
However, considering I once fell off a cliff in Costa Rica just walking around. Oops, there I went. Free-falling with a tether around my legs sounds just as pleasant.
I Rather do a Helicopter Tour of the City
Something I would love to do is a helicopter tour. I’m lucky to report that Cape Town also has helicopter tours. They show you the tip of Africa as well as the cityscapes and the beautiful rock formations throughout the country. If I have to pick between bungee jumping or being in the sky, inside a helicopter, I will definitely opt for the helicopter tour.
If you’re into video instead:
Let Me Break It Down For You:
Crazy things to do in South Africa that I wont do, but you might want to are:
- Cage diving with great white sharks
- Cage diving with crocodiles
- Kayaking with dolphins
- Going on Safari
- Bungee jumping in Soweto
I rather:
— Eat caterpillars in Limpopo
— Check out the six thousand year old Baobab tree with a bar inside of it
— Go to Boulders Beach and check out the penguins doing their ‘thang’!
— Take day trips to nearby ecotourist attractions like Table Mountain
— Fly in a helicopter for an amazing tour of Cape Town
I hope this list helps you decide which crazy things to do in South Africa. Also, don’t let my fears be your fears. Make sure to do your research. One thing I found while doing my research is always making sure the company you’re booking is responsible. In other words, they’re not taking advantage of the animals, or not donating to bad organizations. Being a responsible tourist is the least we can do. With a country this big and incredible, there are many different things to do for every type of traveler.
Enjoy. Have fun. And share dis motherf**king list! Gracias!
— Stay creepy and weird my peeps.
Q.
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Only crazy White folks be jumping in cages to see sharks and crocs. You’re a smart guy. You’ll live a long time.
Haha yep. No thanks. No cage diving for me. I literally just got here. I think its 4am friday night in LA but 2pm Saturday here in Cape Town. Only took about 40 hrs to get here!